The Meeting I Never Cancel

Every Tuesday at 8 a.m., I sit in a coffee shop across from a 28-year-old named Marcus. He works in the same industry I left three years ago. He buys the coffee. I buy the hour.

We’ve been doing this for a year. I’ve moved doctor visits. I’ve moved flights. I’ve skipped golf. I’ve never moved Marcus.

He doesn’t report to me. I don’t get paid. There’s no program. No contract. Just two guys at a table, one of them 30 years ahead of the other, talking about work and life and the stuff nobody teaches you in school.

It’s the best hour of my week. And it took me too long to figure out why.

A friend from my old company called and asked if I’d talk to a young guy on his team. Marcus was smart, working hard, and stuck. He didn’t need a boss. He needed someone outside the building who’d been through what he was going through.

I said yes because I had nothing better to do that morning. We met for 45 minutes. He asked good questions. I gave honest answers. He sent a thank-you note the next day.

Then he asked if we could do it again. That was a year ago.

I don’t give Marcus advice. I give him the mistakes I already made so he doesn’t have to.

▸ How to handle a bad boss. He had one. I’d had three. I told him what worked and what got me fired the one time I handled it wrong.
▸ When to leave a job. He was thinking about it. I walked him through the math and the timing. He stayed six more months, got a raise, and left on his own terms.
▸ What nobody tells you about money. He was making good money and saving none of it. I showed him what I wished I’d done at 28. He opened an IRA that week.

None of this is in a manual. It’s the stuff you learn by doing it wrong first. I’ve done plenty of that.

This is the part I didn’t expect.

Marcus tells me what’s happening in the industry. New tools. New thinking. New problems I never had to deal with. He keeps me sharp. He asks questions I haven’t thought about in years. And when I answer them, I realize I know more than I thought I did.

He also reminds me what it felt like to be at the start. The hunger. The doubt. The fear of making the wrong move. I’d forgotten all of that. Talking to Marcus brings it back.

Mentoring isn’t giving. It’s trading. You give experience. You get relevance. Both sides come out ahead.

▸ Start with your old company. Call someone you trust there and say you’re open to meeting a young person who could use a sounding board. Most managers will think of someone in five seconds.
▸ Keep it simple. Coffee once a month. No agenda. No homework. Just show up and let them ask. The best sessions start with “Can I ask you something?” and go from there.
▸ Don’t try to fix them. You’re not their therapist. You’re not their manager. You’re the guy who’s been down the road and can point out the potholes. Share what you know. Let them decide what to do with it.

Last month, Marcus told me he got a promotion. He didn’t thank his boss. He thanked me. Said something I said six months ago helped him handle a situation that got him noticed.

I don’t remember what I said. That’s the thing about mentoring. Half the time, you don’t know which part lands. You just keep showing up and talking. The right piece finds the right moment.

Every Tuesday. Eight a.m. Same table. He buys the coffee. I bring 30 years of mistakes and a willingness to share them.

It’s the meeting I never cancel. And it’s the one I didn’t know I needed until I started.

If you’ve got 30 years of experience and nobody to share it with, you’re sitting on something valuable. Find someone who needs it. The hour will change both of you.

— Walter